Monday, March 31, 2014
how hard her life was
My father was interested in man things. He was a test-pilot, rode a motorcycle, drove a sports car, drank beer, watched football, collected guns. After he died we had no money. He was living with a woman who fought my mother in court for his estate. Said she was his common-law wife. As a result we had no money. Food was an issue. One day my mother took one of his guns out of her closet. She sat me and my brother on her bed. She tried to kill all three of us. She couldn't follow through, but she tried. Sobbing. She would sometimes tell us about it later. To show how hard her life was.
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3 comments:
This kind of post nocks the air out of my lungs. But I know a creature like your mother, and so it doesn't entirely shock me, but still my humanity is offended to share the earth with her. How is it that she doesn't combust with guilt? How is she not begging for your forgiveness for this and every other wicked thing? I know one thing- You were not spared because of her. You were spared because of something much more powerful, I believe, because God wanted to give you a life with redemption in it. I pray that this memory becomes powerless in the face of your beautiful now.
Oh God... [groans at the suffering of humanity]. I am so glad your life was preserved. You are such a part of the joy in my life. I am so glad you lived. I am so sad about all of this.
This story is horrifying. This event has so many lies and fear messages attached to it. How did you not drown in despair?
Who you are is a miracle!
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