fight back

I've read stories about kids that are abused, hated. I like the stories where the kids get angry and fight back. At least when they get old enough. One boy was leaned over a fence post every week on the walk to church with his dad and molested. When he got big enough, he turned around and told his dad "If you ever touch me again I will kill you." His dad never touched him again.

I never fought back. My mother screamed at me that I was what was wrong with her life. That I was unhappy because of myself. A fucking little bastard. Spit in the corners of her mouth. Wild, insane eyes. Shaking with rage. She would scream "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" and then retreat sobbing to her bedroom. The victim. It didn't even occur to me to resist. To question the truth of her viewpoint. I was already dead by then anyway. Years dead. I never did anything. I never said anything. Never got in trouble at school. Compliant. I just tried to be as grey as I could. I didn't want anyone else to hate me.